I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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