More tranny stories later!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
