I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
