Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
