I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
