Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
