i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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