The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How external is "for external use only"?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
