he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
