I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
well you can't waste a boner
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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