i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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