Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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