so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
