guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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