hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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