dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
