READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
