i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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