It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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