Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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