Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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