It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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