I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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