I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
