ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
