Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
