And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
