Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just pee around me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
