who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
