Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize