I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
