i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
