I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
