you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Randomize
