BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
