so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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