If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
