he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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