we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
