I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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