You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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