is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
