After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize