if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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