Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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