I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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