therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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