So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
