I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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