I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
tell me about the eggs
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