What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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