I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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