just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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