On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
