And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
