When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
