Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
