It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
