In America we eat man semen.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize