Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
