goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
