You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You're earring is so big in my mouth
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
