Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
